Why are so many black women unmarried?

I stumbled across a very interesting Youtube video this week, entitled simply, "Black women Unmarried". It's nothing new - since de-segregation in America, and the dawn of a multi-cultural society in the U.K, over and over again, we hear the cry of 'Single Ladies' everywhere. No Rings. Uh-uh-oh. Watching the video would give you the general impression that :
1) There is an abundance of eligible, well-educated, and I quote "quintessential" black women.

2) The number of eligible black men is rapidly depleting due to interacial relationships, incarceration, lack of education and general tomfoolery.

I'm going to attempt to be impartial. I'm not the 4th member of Destiny's Child, so I'll try not to go down the 'Independent Women Part III' route. Neither am I going to give black men a get-out-of-jail-free card (how ironic), and blame everything on black women.

Side Note:

I think that the video has made several assumptions about what makes a good partner. We know very little about the personality or character of the successful black woman. We can probably deduce that they are driven and hardworking, but that's about it really. I think we need to redefine what eligibility is before actually answering the question properly. I guess a male would have to answer that question?

I've tried to keep it brief...but..here are my main reasons for why so many black women are unmarried:

1)Disparity between black men and women in traditional education. There are undeniably larger numbers of black women in higher education than black men. This then elicits general socio-economic disparity in terms of class etc (despite the issues you might have with that term).

2)The misunderstanding amongst us that said disparity correlates to relationship compatibility. University does not equal intellectual. Plumber does not equal uncultured. Academia and intelligence. The two don’t always positively correlate, and I fear that when we make the assumption that they do, we’re moving dangerously close to ‘class-ism’.

3)SOME black men’s inability to commit to monogamous relationships and take care of the products of their previous relationships.(kids)

4)SOME black women’s attitude problems.... (don't shoot me)

5)Standards of beauty and femininity set up by the media and society automatically putting black women on a lower plane of ‘desirability’ in terms of marriage especially, in comparison to their white counterparts. Black men's acceptance of this.

6)Historically and presently, the media and societies portrayal and encouragement of black women as being sexual playthings (MTV base) thus not marriage material, but ‘booty-call material’ .Some black women’s acceptance of this as their reality.

7)Historically and presently, the media and societies portrayal and encouragement of black men as being naturally animalistic in their approach to relationships. i.e. hook up with many different women, no emotional involvement, uncivilised. Some black men’s acceptance of this as their reality.

8) Lack of stable family structure within the black community presently, sets up single black women as a ‘norm’.

9)White women seem to be more inclined to partner black men, than white men are to partner black women. Thus more black men marry outside their race than black women do. This equals more unmarried black women and also less eligible black men.

What do you think??

Ratatouille in Bristol. part 3

Juan-cheater nodded. The intrepid, courageous pair made their way determinedly down the stairs with the deep assurance that after their exploit, the next floor Lanre the mouse would see, would be that of his watery grave.
Shaznay pulled on her cowboy boots on top of her Primark pyjamas, an outfit that would put fear in the heart of any intruder, big or small. Standing like the brave, with their face to the foe, hands oustretched, one quick flick of a switch was all it took for the kettle to start boiling, each bubble spelling doom for the hairy muppet who had stolen their peace.
The mouse had found a new hiding place behind a wicker bin next to that cherished, worn wooden table. Every now and then , a flicker of it's miniscule but fearsome tail wouuld strike fear in the hearts of Juancheater and Shaznay. They looked towards the top of the stairs where Janizzle, overcome with grief, faintly whispered "Go on without me guys..... I don't think I can face it...I'm with you in spirit!!".
The kettle boiled to its highest extremity brought the dawning of a glorious moment, but Shaznay paused. Despite the havoc wreaked in her life by this intruder, her merciful heart still beat deep inside her, the ebb and flow of blood in her veins had not yet run cold. Was there another way?? She looked at Juancheater, and hung her head. "It's too late, Shaznay," murmured Juancheater " there's nothing else to be done".
From the top of the stairs rang the voice of reason.
"Just kill the nasty thing! It's disturbing the food chain...there can only be one organism at the top!" Janizzles voice gave new courage to Shaznay. She poured.
In an instant moment of rebellion, instead of calmly accepting his fate, Lanre broke free. Shaznay, Jaun-cheater and Janizzle each let out a blood curdling scream that resonated through the walls of their humble abode. Shaznay jumped on the kitchen counter, bravely refusing to leave the kitchen, despite her very life being threatened. Juancheater begin to sing fearlessly, hoping that her sweet melody would soothe the mouse into surrender. Alas, alas, no!
But wait.....what yonder hope breaks in the corner of the kitchen??? The trusty kettle. Yes, the kettle. In one fell swoop, Shaznay poured the remainder of the boiling water on Lanre's head. Silence.
The sweet scent of victory mingled with the faint odour of boiled mouse filled the air, coupled with the familiar sound of the Somerfield early morning delivery van. "It didn't have to be this way Lanre," sighed Shaznay, "It didn't have to be this way"....

The End!

Ratatouille in Bristol..part 2

Shaznay breathed in deeply, choking as her very breath nearly turned into icicles that would pierce her tongue, causing pain, but no pain greater than that of knowing an unwelcomed intruder was, at that very moment ,sneakily dragging his nostrils across her kitchen floor.
She turned to look at Janizzle, and slowly exhaled, as if to release her increasing hatred for the unsanitary rodent.
"Can't you hear him downstairs Shaznay?? I turned around to wash out my porridge bowl, and there he was - standing, looking me dead in the eye!!"
"But why didn't he get caught in the trap?"
"THERE IS A TRAP! BUT IT DOESN'T KILL THEM, IT ONLY TRAPS THEM!"
Shaznay gripped her dainty forehead in her hands, blessing the landlord and his keen sense of enterprise in buying a non-mouse-destroying-mouse-trap. Something had to be done. No longer could the household sit idly by and allow their very happiness to be coaxed from under their noses by this sinful creature. Probation had closed for this mouse.
Janizzle stood in the doorway - hyperventilating, and finally, in a fit of despair, ran into Juan-cheater's room, flinging herslf upon the bed. A chill filled the air. It was now or never. It was the mouse - or the inhabitants of that house.
The faint rattling continued from downstairs, reaching sinisterly to the ears of the courageous housemates. Shaznay swept her poly-cotton covers off, walked over to Juancheater, looked her dead in the eye, and said "I know what to do".

part 3...coming soon

Ratatouille in Bristol.

Let me tell you a story. Are you sitting comfortably?? Got your peppermint tea?? Blanket?? Kleenex?This story is a sad tale. A tale of frightened females, vociferous vermin, and boiling water.

*coughs* So.... in a small city in the Southwest of England, lived 3 young women. Shaznay, Janizzle, and Juan-cheater had happily resided in their comfortable but humble student accomodation for 3 weeks. Many happy meals had been shared around their well worn wooden table. Tofu stir fries, chickpea curry, rice and peas, amongst other delicacies, had been warmly divided. All this, however, was about to change one misty morning in late October.

8 o' clock brought, what Shaznay thought, would be the start of a brand new day. New opportunities- sunshine, laughter, and medical books. Alas, alas, no! The thief cometh but to kill, chew through electrical wires, and destroy! A bloodcurdling scream arose from downstairs. Shaznay sat up in her bed, her breath visible in the air due a problem with the boiler which the landlord had yet to investigate (trust me, it was cold up in there!!...why was it taking 3 days for my clothes to dry???..the joke! anyway back to the story..).
The pitter-patter of size 7 feet could be heard scurrying up the stairs.
"Shaznay... shaznay!!!", came the voice from outside her bedroom door.
"What?!", she snapped.
A tearful sob escaped. "I saw it!".
"Saw what......?"
"A MOUSE!!"




part 2 continues tomorrow....

Welcome!

Hola peoples!
I'm starting a blog.
Yes. Prepare to giggle, chuckle, think, raise one eyebrow or perhaps both, and so forth...
I'm not sure what to blog about as of yet...but I'm doing this primarily because I have an itch to share thoughts, also to spread Love (1 Corinthians 13 type), and to get conversations about life going amongst my friends...etc. I'm not so narcisstic to think that everyone cares that much about mmmyyyy life, so it will be primarily about external issues and maybe people will read it!
Actually, if folks have anything they want me to blog about then just holla at me!! We could also do guest blog posts.

Oh let me not forget..this was all inspired by a rather clever little creature running around Catford somewhere called Akil Henry.